1. Why did you write a book about coping with Alzheimer’s?

Daphne: It was inevitable. Alzheimer’s disease showed up in my family first with my maternal grandmother and also in my Uncle Joe. When Daddy developed it, I had both a writer’s desire and a daughter’s need to make sense of what was happening. Writers create order out of what can look like the chaotic elements of living. Living with someone who has dementia offers a banquet of material.

2. You didn’t always write about this subject, but you have been writing about your family for a long time. Do you see yourself as a memoirist?

Daphne: I am one because I have written a memoir, but I had always written fiction too. Years ago when I was first beginning to build a career I wrote both, but the creative non-fiction pieces found a readership first. I still write fiction.

3. Do you consider yourself a Christian writer?

Daphne: I am a Christian who writes, and I can’t divide my artistic sensibilities from my faith in the lively truth of Christ’s position as Sovereign Lord in my life. Once anyone accepts the gift of redemption that Christ freely offers in himself, that gift permeates a believer’s life and that includes writing.

4. When you were living this experience of parentcare that is told in The Long Good Night, did you ever question why it was happening?

Daphne: I think that everyone asks "why?" from time-to-time whatever their circumstances, but I had a peace about Daddy and his journey. My sisters and I were with him during it, and I don’t know what God was doing with Daddy, but I know that God was teaching me and us to trust him, no matter what. When the person who has represented strength and safety to you crumbles, you learn to trust God who never fails. It is quite a blessing to know that.

5. Are you saying that your father’s illness was ultimately a rewarding experience?

Daphne: Of course. Anytime you learn to trust God in deep and persevering ways that you never had before, the time is a blessing.

6. What else did you learn?

Daphne: People are afraid of growing old, of dying, and Alzheimer’s is one of the words people fear the most. I think a lot of people are repulsed by the word, but I’m here to tell you — and I do it in The Long Good Night — that Alzheimer’s disease is no more scary than other ways of growing older and infirm. The message is the same. Trust God with your life and he won’t let you down.

7. You keep a remarkably optimistic, even cheerful view of daily life in your book. What is the key to that?

Daphne: It is true that I have a natural sunny disposition, and when you grow up in the South, you enjoy finding eccentricities humorous. But really, optimism is the natural effect of being a Christian, and good cheer results from taking one’s concerns to God in prayer. He provides peace and good cheer follows.

8. There are aspects to the story you tell that are intimate and perhaps shocking to people who knew your dad and know your family. Has there been any backlash effect?

Daphne: Yes. Even though people, including my sisters, knew some of the shocking details of living with someone who has dementia, it’s different to see those experiences in print. I’ve heard some rumblings that I went too far, and when I heard that, I replied truthfully, "No, I didn’t. The disease did. It’s Alzheimer’s that goes over the boundaries that we consider acceptable. That’s the whole point right there. I just told the story." I didn’t write those parts to embarrass or dishonor him but to bring comfort to present-day caregivers who are living with some of the shock and confusion. It feels like it’s happening only to you, but there are a lot of men and women out there coping with the distressing moments of someone who has dementia.

9. Do you fear getting Alzheimer’s disease?

Daphne: No. I’m not in charge of my life and worrying about any aspect of it won’t change the course or fix anything inside of me that might break down. Besides, I’ve lived with it in the house, and I know that it’s more messy than tragic.

10. What’s next for you?

Daphne: I am enjoying the fruit of this labor right now. I’m asked pretty frequently to speak to different groups about caregiving, writing your memoir, growing up in the South — a variety of topics, and I am enjoying the adventure of meeting different people in so many different settings. It’s good to be out of the house for a while. But I also continue to write and teach at a local university. Lord willing, I shall begin my next book soon. I am not settled yet on its predominant unifying theme, but the story will have something to do with the real work of loving other people well. Isn’t it the great challenge Christ brings to us as believers? Once a caregiver has experienced that kind of deep love, he or she can’t settle for less.